The Conversations We Don't Have

Schools are fascinating places of both courage and avoidance.

I often see it in heads and boards. They'll talk for hours about budgets. They'll debate policies until midnight. They'll analyse data until their eyes blur.

But the real issue? The actual tension that's eating away at their partnership?

That sits in perfect silence.

What fascinates me most is how these partnerships develop sophisticated architectures of avoidance.

The head who's frustrated with the board's micromanagement smiles through another committee meeting.

The board chair who's worried about staff turnover finds yet another way to hint at it without addressing it directly.

Meanwhile, trust erodes. One silent meeting at a time.

Power, fear, hope and assumption all live in this negative space. The things we cannot measure but which ultimately determine whether a school thrives or merely survives.

I've become interested in what transforms these silences into conversations. The strongest partnerships I see share this superpower. They've broken the conspiracy of silence. They've realised that addressing tensions directly doesn't break trust, it builds it.

This isn't about communication techniques or fancy frameworks. It's simpler and harder than that.

It's about courage.

The courage to speak. The courage to listen. And the courage to value truth over temporary comfort.

Perhaps the question isn't "How do we have difficult conversations?" but rather "What makes necessary conversations seem difficult in the first place?" The answer, I suspect, reveals more about our schools than we might care to admit.

What conversation are you avoiding right now? What might become possible if you finally had it?